Mother Nature is a bitch. All those tsunamis, hurricanes, earth quakes… Fuck that, man. Not cool, Nature. We don’t want all that weather related nonsense.
All we wanna do is have fun and look dope, you know? We wanna wear cool clothes and clean shoes without any worries. We’re okay with global warming, as long as it’s not TOO warm. How else are we gonna do all that layering stuff otherwise, I ask you?
No, Nature, it doesn’t work like this. Keep your hysteria to yourself. We all need to deal with our issues. Don’t make others pay for your unstable behaviour.
For instance, what’s up with all that humidity lately, huh? The eyelets on my new hand-made sneakers got rusty within two weeks because of that shit! What do you have to say about that? How am I supposed to look in the eyes of my fellow fashionistas now?
I’m gonna say this just once, Nature. Don’t try to fuck with my sartorial reputation. Otherwise, there will be consequences. You love when I post those pretty pictures of me and you on my Instagram, don’t you? All those palm leaves, and walks in the bush, and seagulls floating up in the skies, with puffy clouds on the background… Well, sort your shit out, Nature, or I’m gonna start posting pics of Kim Kardashian’s ass instead. I mean it.
Be nice, Nature, seriously. Get a hobby, or something. And stop being such a bitch!
Photography by: Max Lemesh