Outfits

Solid as a Rock

November 4, 2017
IMG_7768

A man being solid as a rock is rather outdated. Girls don’t like them. Of course, they might claim that they do, until they actually meet one. The main issue with those dudes is that they don’t challenge ladies emotionally, you know. There’s nothing left for a girl to take care of. It’s like being in a relationship with the Terminator – it’s safe and secure, and… like, safe.

Occasionally, a girl catches up with her girlfriends and straight after the first round of tequila shots she’ll tell ’em how lucky she is to get a guy like this, that he’s sooo good to her and he’s sooo kind, and he’s got a ‘real’ job (he’d be a firefighter, of course), and how they do these ten-mile runs together every Saturday. And, of course, they would all agree that he’s a real steal.

Then, after they’ve had another round of shots, she tells ’em that he took her to meet his parents and his disabled twin brother, who used to be a mountain climber (no shit), but after trying to save an endangered mountain goat kid somewhere in the Himalayas, he fell off the cliff and hurt his head badly, so now he’s mentally three, but such a bright soul! And how this whole thing had tightened the family bond, and all. As for her boyfriend, he is so strong, and optimistic, and courageous in these extremely difficult circumstances. He spends every Sunday with his retarded brother, playing hide-n-seek and singing ‘Twinkle, Twinkle’ and she’s just staying at home all day, re-watching Game of Thrones from the beginning, because she’s bored as fuck.

At that point the girlfriends would be nodding politely and saying ‘Wow!’, but thinking ‘What the fuck’.

Then they’d have another round of shots, and she’d be dancing to hip-hop with such passion and ridiculousness like it’s her last day on Earth.

And after another one, she’d say ‘Fuck that shit’, jump into an Uber, and head straight to that emotionally unstable painter, who she had a crush on since college, whose got a couple of phobias and cries his eyes out every time he sees some social ad on TV. And she would never come back. Because being with someone solid as a rock is no fun.

IMG_7676

Unstructured shoulders, slim lapels, high arm-holes – these are the essential details of a smart casual blazer.

IMG_7689

Somehow I feel like Rocky Road dessert looking at this picture.

IMG_7680

Worn-out brogues and bare ankles indicate that the wearer might ask you for money. Beware.

IMG_7652

A tie and a pocket square might have similar colour tones and an overall appearance, but they mustn’t be of the same fabric.

IMG_7641

Cotton trousers, or ‘chinos’, look appropriate with a blazer without shoulder pads. It’s all about the thorough casual look, you see…

IMG_7682

You’d want to show the cuffs of your shirt a bit while wearing a blazer. A half of an inch to an inch would suffice.

IMG_7664

Sitting on a rock is something you might wanna do if you’re tired as hell. But do me a favour, don’t sit for too long – you might freeze your ass off.

You Might Also Like

No Comments

Leave a Reply